June 7th, Rotterdam to Paris
I have been in Japan, particularly to Tokyo, many times over the past decade. Japan changed my life. It made me into the person I am today. Since 2009, Tokyo has always occupied space in my head, body and imagination. I’ve written about it, dreamt of it, and at times, profoundly disliked it as well. Sometimes its presence was dominant; other times it was more like a pilot light, far away yet always there. Just when I thought I had lost touch, I found it again in Paris. In Julien. And today I see Japan in my own family – in our kids, who speak Japanese, watch Shimajiro and Ghibli Studio and cuddle Totoro and Doraimon in their beds.
We are currently based in Rotterdam, the Netherlands. Julien is often in Paris, where he runs a gallery representing Japanese artists. The kids and I sometimes follow, but since Ima was born in December ’22, I go much less than before.
Lila is 4.5 years old and has been attending school since the start of this year. A bilingual Dutch/English school. We could never find something similar in Paris – unless we paid 20k a year – , so we decided to stay in Rotterdam and live this way. Sometimes separated. There are moments when we wonder why we are doing this again, but generally it works well. And we plan on moving to Japan in 2-3 years.
We visit Japan every year. Most of the time for a month or longer even, to see family, check on artists, meet potential artists and explore the city and culture which is always moving and changing.
We stay in Tokyo mainly, but we also travel around. Last year we spent a month in Tokyo and after that, we went to Vietnam for a month to meet with Juliens father who lives an hour drive from Hanoi. He had never met our kids. It was so good! Ima was only 5 months at the beginning of the trip and she took her first bites in Vietnam. Many different types of tropical fruits she hasn’t had since. She has become a good eater nonetheless.
This year we will be in Japan for one month, but we will travel a lot within the country compared to other times. We start in Tokyo where we will spend a week, after which we will visit Juliens cousin in the mountains of Yamagata, up north. Few days later, we will move downwards to visit the rest of his family in Karasuyama, Tochigi and then we will go further down, to the beautiful beaches of Shizuoka for a few days to relax. The last week we will go up again towards Tokyo, but we will stop in Kamakura to visit friends who have recently moved there. We end our trip in Tokyo. We will travel by train, because Japan has such a great railroad infrastructure. We might rent a car in Shizuoka. I recently got my driver’s license – at last. (Julien also hasn’t gotten his.) I’m beyond excited to drive in Japan!
Are excitement and anxiety related to each other?
I’ve always felt that the feeling of excitement – for example, to travel – and anxiety are very close to each other. I understand that anxiety freezes you, while excitement has you jump, but at the same time that is literally what I feel simultaneously. It is contradictory. Is that why travelling can be hard on us? My belly is full of butterflies but it could be nausea too. Excitement predominates, that positive feeling of the adventure ahead, but I also feel fear. I fear for the train to Paris alone with two children, the plane trip, the jet lag, forgetting pacifiers, losing favourite cuddles (happens all the time) or worse: a kid.
“I fear for the train to Paris alone with two children, the plane trip, the jet lag, forgetting pacifiers, losing favourite cuddles or worse: a kid. “
Last year I bought our children bracelets with their names and my phone-number inscribed. I had so many nightmares of losing Lila in Shibuya Crossing. We had actually lost her that year on King’s Day, a Dutch national holiday with big crowds where the city turns into one big flea-market slash concert venue. She was gone for 30 minutes until someone went on a stage and called our names. (How did she even know our names at three years old!)
She was NOT impressed when I picked her up. She told me she just went to buy something with the ten cents she got.
I also just had Ima and I guess I was extra anxious, full of hormones. Anyway, Lila lost her (expensive) bracelet within a week and we had an amazing trip. I don’t remember feeling any fear anymore after we cured from the jet lag.
Taking the train from Rotterdam to Paris
We start our one month trip separated. Julien had to be in Paris for work and he left on Tuesday, a few days before the kids and I. Our flight to Tokyo leaves on Saturday from Paris. Initially I wanted to join, but I realised I’d be waiting impatiently, alone with two kids and some big suitcases until we would fly to Japan. So I decided to let Lila finish her week of school and pick her up Friday afternoon to go straight to Paris.
It meant I had to tidy and clean the house alone and organise all the packing myself. I was smart enough to give Julien Lila’s clothes to put in his suitcase. And I also gave him the YoYo stroller and the YoYo board.
What I had to pack was Ima’s stuff and my own combined in one suitcase; a weekend bag (a carry-on luggage) with clothes and toilet bag for the night in Paris; my ‘mum bag’ for the plain aka a HUGE bag with clothes, diapers, snacks and toys and at last a bag with some toys and snacks for the train from Rotterdam to Paris.
Our train departs from Rotterdam at 15:00. My dad takes us to the station. We pick up Lila first who gets out of school at 14:15. She is exited too. Once in Paris, we will directly move to Versailles where we will spend one night at friends. They have two kids, ages five and nine, and Lila loves playing with them and staying at their big, welcoming home. She can’t wait to be there. Neither can I.
I prepared Lila a bag with some snacks (raisins, nuts, chips) and her Yoto player. I wrapped a new card as a present. Encanto, a Disney film with lots of music.
It’s 2.5 hours from Rotterdam to Paris, but it’s a long trip. Lila had a full week of school and is tired. She doesn’t like her new Yoto card. I listen and realise she might be a bit too young for it. She cries from frustration. Ima is also complaining loudly, because she wants to walk around.
“If there is one thing I learned from travelling with kids, it’s that everything comes to an end.”
If there is one thing I learned from travelling with kids, it’s that everything comes to an end. So I make the best of it with more chips and another present for Lila, a card game that she does love and that we play together the whole trip. I let Ima climb the chairs and the windows. She waves to everyone behind us and most people wave back.
We arrive at Gare du Nord around 17:30 and are picked up by Julien and Yome. He drives us to his house during intense rush hour in Paris. Paris is already partly blocked for the Olympics, he explains and the traffic is worse than ever. When we arrive its past 20:00, but we are in holiday mood. It’s Friday, the kids are (over)exited and happy to see each other and we enjoy a nice late dinner with good wine.
We are picked up by Julien at Gare du Nord @coffeeandlullabies
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